Shared Death Experience
Enhancing the possibility for a conscious, connected and loving end-of-life experience.
Shared Death Experiences (SDEs), are profound experiences whereby one or more loved ones, caregivers, or even bystanders have reported sharing in a dying person’s transition to the initial stages of an afterlife. Such experiences typically include the theme of a journey, as experiencers commonly report seeing or otherwise sensing dying patients or loved ones moving towards a destination typically characterized as a transcendent light. SDEs are at the very heart of the Shared Crossing Project, and it is the time-honored practices we offer in preparation for enabling SDEs that distinguish us from other end-of-life organizations.
The core elements of the Shared Death Experience are remarkably similar to those of the Near-Death Experience (NDE). Although no single SDE has included all of the elements listed below, and although no two SDE's are exactly the same, a person who experiences even one or two of these elements receives profound benefits.
What are now known as shared death experiences have been documented in research by the Society for Psychical Research in London since the late 1800s. Peter Fenwick, MD, and Elizabeth Fenwick, RN, have collected hundreds of accounts of shared death experiences in the United Kingdom and throughout Northern Europe. Dr. Raymond Moody popularized the term “shared death experience” in his 2009 book, Glimpses of Eternity. Previously, phenomena now identified as SDEs were associated with deathbed visions (William Barrett), deathbed coincidences (Fenwick), and other extraordinary end-of-life phenomena.
The Shared Crossing Research Initiative recently completed the first analysis of shared death experience reports. We are currently preparing a series of articles for submission to leading academic journals.
Types of Shared Death Experiences
Remote: The majority of SDEs are reported by individuals who were physically distant from the dying patient or loved one at the time of death.
"One day after our visit I had a dream that night. I was with her in her apartment. She was young, beautiful and happy. Her sister was with her. I looked at the clock on her wall and it said 3:00am. When I woke up, I knew she had passed. When I arrived at the facility, I asked one of the nurses about her and they said she had died during the night. I asked him to look up the time and her passing was recorded at 3:00am."
~ Sally G.
Flyby: A specific subset of remote SDEs, flybys involve people feeling that they have been briefly visited by the spirit of the dying in route to whatever lies beyond this world. Many flybys include personal messages of gratitude and love.
"I just had this profound shift happen like this feeling of being with my father came to me. Not being with my father, you know, earlier that year here on the porch, but being with my father as it felt as a little boy... I just knew it was fine. Everything was fine. He was there with me. He was on to the next thing, whatever that was. Whatever that is."
~ Carl P.
Beside: SDEs that occur at the bedside of the dying person.
"Then I got this feeling. It was different than any other moment. I just knew it was her time, you know... Right when I said, 'I'm here, God's here,' I felt light. I felt like the whole room was weightless. And I was weightless. And I saw her go towards this bright light. But I didn't see her face. It was like... I saw something go toward and I knew it was her. And it happened like, really fast, because later I was like, how long did that really take for that whole thing to happen?"
~ Christina C.
Subtypes of Shared Death Experiences
Early: SDEs that occur shortly before the time of a death.
Delayed: SDEs that occur shortly after the time of a death.
Gradual: SDEs that transpire over the course of one or more days.
Multiple Experiencers: SDEs reported by more than one caregiver or loved one around the death of a dying person.
Major Features of a Shared Death Experience:
Visions of the dying person (often appearing more younger or more vibrant)
"While I had my hands on her feet, she left her body. And then she appeared above me like about a 16-year-old girl in this flowery dress... in a beautiful meadow."
~ Nina B.
The appearance of a transcendent light
"He was moving upwards to the light above his head. I looked at it. A beautiful, diffuse light that was more than light- it was a place, a space, an energy. It was freedom and release and forgiveness and acceptance."
~ Beth H.
Sensing an unseen presence
"I felt presences, like there were people or energies in the room."
~ Lisa S.
Sensing unusual energies
"It felt physical. I felt like I could feel it on my skin, and I could hear it. It was like a whoosh, like a whooshing sound."
~ Thery J.
Changes in time and space
"The room had a glowing iridescence somehow."
~ Margaret E.
Encounters with spirit beings
"There was a massive angel with huge wings. It was like a bird, white wings. I say it's an angel, I don't know."
~ Angela H.
Seeing the spirit leave the body
"I noticed that there was like a mist that came out of the top of his head and... filled ip the whole ceiling space."
~ Carol S.
Appearance of previously deceased loved ones
"I had this image of my mind of this golden light and dad with his brothers and his mom and their arms around each other, walking away, looking back over his shoulder like, 'Yeah, it's okay. I'm good.' They were all young and he was wearing his war uniform, his army uniform."
~ Leslie C.
Visions of otherworldly or heavenly realms
"She gave me a vision of her being in this beautiful... It was a space. It isn't anything like I've seen on earth. It was so beautiful. The colors were very rich. It was very clear and clean. The grass was the greenest that you've ever seen. it was sprinkled with yellow flowers. The most vibrant yellow that you could imagine."
~ Susanna S.
Tunnels, gateways, and vortices
"It was like a round opening with light streaming out of it... Interestingly, in this experience, there were people peering through. It's like looking up at a manhole or something, only it was in front."
~ Jeanne D.
Sudden onset of physical symptoms thought to correspond to those of a dying person at the time of death
"I lost vision of the phone. And my feet came off the floor. I felt like I was gonna pass out, and I got real nauseated."
~ Dawn B.
Life reviews involving the dying person
"And suddenly, very vivid images of Wendy came to me. I just could not stop thinking about Wendy. All the studs we'd done together."
~ Allison A.
In addition to tracing the various features that consistently appear in SDEs, we also examined the various aftereffects that experiencers reported. Overwhelming, most experiencers considered their SDEs to be gifts.
Major Aftereffects of a Shared Death Experience
Certainty of an afterlife
"I had been involved with hospice for many years, so my views regarding what happens after we die were well developed. The fantastic SDE with my grandmother didn't change my views, but it was an outstanding confirmation that life goes on beyond the physical realm."
~ Susan W.
Reconciliation of grief
"I don't think I grieved. I think I'm extremely happy that she died when she did and it wasn't a long drawn out thing. No. I was too happy. I'm still happy. She's waiting. People are waiting for me."
~ Sallie L.
At peace knowing that the deceased loved one is alive and well
"I thought we were just going to be dead in the ground, like that's all it was going to be, That's why he came back to me in the SDE, I'm convinced."
~ Carla K.
Lessening or loss of fear of death
"Being 36 years old and having two young kinds, normally, people like that are afraid to die. When you're at that age and you have kids and that kind of thing, I would be afraid to die. Well, after that happened to me, I was not afraid for one minute."
~ Lourdes F.
Renewed sense of purpose in life
"It has never left me, it altered my life, even not understanding what had taken place, it altered my life. I was never the same again. I'm telling you as if it happened five minutes ago."
~ Stephanie L.
Shared Death Experiences (SDEs), are profound experiences whereby one or more loved ones, caregivers, or even bystanders have reported sharing in a dying person’s transition to the initial stages of an afterlife. Such experiences typically include the theme of a journey, as experiencers commonly report seeing or otherwise sensing dying patients or loved ones moving towards a destination typically characterized as a transcendent light. SDEs are at the very heart of the Shared Crossing Project, and it is the time-honored practices we offer in preparation for enabling SDEs that distinguish us from other end-of-life organizations.
The core elements of the Shared Death Experience are remarkably similar to those of the Near-Death Experience (NDE). Although no single SDE has included all of the elements listed below, and although no two SDE's are exactly the same, a person who experiences even one or two of these elements receives profound benefits.
What are now known as shared death experiences have been documented in research by the Society for Psychical Research in London since the late 1800s. Peter Fenwick, MD, and Elizabeth Fenwick, RN, have collected hundreds of accounts of shared death experiences in the United Kingdom and throughout Northern Europe. Dr. Raymond Moody popularized the term “shared death experience” in his 2009 book, Glimpses of Eternity. Previously, phenomena now identified as SDEs were associated with deathbed visions (William Barrett), deathbed coincidences (Fenwick), and other extraordinary end-of-life phenomena.
The Shared Crossing Research Initiative recently completed the first analysis of shared death experience reports. We are currently preparing a series of articles for submission to leading academic journals.
Types of Shared Death Experiences
Remote: The majority of SDEs are reported by individuals who were physically distant from the dying patient or loved one at the time of death.
"One day after our visit I had a dream that night. I was with her in her apartment. She was young, beautiful and happy. Her sister was with her. I looked at the clock on her wall and it said 3:00am. When I woke up, I knew she had passed. When I arrived at the facility, I asked one of the nurses about her and they said she had died during the night. I asked him to look up the time and her passing was recorded at 3:00am."
~ Sally G.
Flyby: A specific subset of remote SDEs, flybys involve people feeling that they have been briefly visited by the spirit of the dying in route to whatever lies beyond this world. Many flybys include personal messages of gratitude and love.
"I just had this profound shift happen like this feeling of being with my father came to me. Not being with my father, you know, earlier that year here on the porch, but being with my father as it felt as a little boy... I just knew it was fine. Everything was fine. He was there with me. He was on to the next thing, whatever that was. Whatever that is."
~ Carl P.
Beside: SDEs that occur at the bedside of the dying person.
"Then I got this feeling. It was different than any other moment. I just knew it was her time, you know... Right when I said, 'I'm here, God's here,' I felt light. I felt like the whole room was weightless. And I was weightless. And I saw her go towards this bright light. But I didn't see her face. It was like... I saw something go toward and I knew it was her. And it happened like, really fast, because later I was like, how long did that really take for that whole thing to happen?"
~ Christina C.
Subtypes of Shared Death Experiences
Early: SDEs that occur shortly before the time of a death.
Delayed: SDEs that occur shortly after the time of a death.
Gradual: SDEs that transpire over the course of one or more days.
Multiple Experiencers: SDEs reported by more than one caregiver or loved one around the death of a dying person.
Major Features of a Shared Death Experience:
Visions of the dying person (often appearing more younger or more vibrant)
"While I had my hands on her feet, she left her body. And then she appeared above me like about a 16-year-old girl in this flowery dress... in a beautiful meadow."
~ Nina B.
The appearance of a transcendent light
"He was moving upwards to the light above his head. I looked at it. A beautiful, diffuse light that was more than light- it was a place, a space, an energy. It was freedom and release and forgiveness and acceptance."
~ Beth H.
Sensing an unseen presence
"I felt presences, like there were people or energies in the room."
~ Lisa S.
Sensing unusual energies
"It felt physical. I felt like I could feel it on my skin, and I could hear it. It was like a whoosh, like a whooshing sound."
~ Thery J.
Changes in time and space
"The room had a glowing iridescence somehow."
~ Margaret E.
Encounters with spirit beings
"There was a massive angel with huge wings. It was like a bird, white wings. I say it's an angel, I don't know."
~ Angela H.
Seeing the spirit leave the body
"I noticed that there was like a mist that came out of the top of his head and... filled ip the whole ceiling space."
~ Carol S.
Appearance of previously deceased loved ones
"I had this image of my mind of this golden light and dad with his brothers and his mom and their arms around each other, walking away, looking back over his shoulder like, 'Yeah, it's okay. I'm good.' They were all young and he was wearing his war uniform, his army uniform."
~ Leslie C.
Visions of otherworldly or heavenly realms
"She gave me a vision of her being in this beautiful... It was a space. It isn't anything like I've seen on earth. It was so beautiful. The colors were very rich. It was very clear and clean. The grass was the greenest that you've ever seen. it was sprinkled with yellow flowers. The most vibrant yellow that you could imagine."
~ Susanna S.
Tunnels, gateways, and vortices
"It was like a round opening with light streaming out of it... Interestingly, in this experience, there were people peering through. It's like looking up at a manhole or something, only it was in front."
~ Jeanne D.
Sudden onset of physical symptoms thought to correspond to those of a dying person at the time of death
"I lost vision of the phone. And my feet came off the floor. I felt like I was gonna pass out, and I got real nauseated."
~ Dawn B.
Life reviews involving the dying person
"And suddenly, very vivid images of Wendy came to me. I just could not stop thinking about Wendy. All the studs we'd done together."
~ Allison A.
In addition to tracing the various features that consistently appear in SDEs, we also examined the various aftereffects that experiencers reported. Overwhelming, most experiencers considered their SDEs to be gifts.
Major Aftereffects of a Shared Death Experience
Certainty of an afterlife
"I had been involved with hospice for many years, so my views regarding what happens after we die were well developed. The fantastic SDE with my grandmother didn't change my views, but it was an outstanding confirmation that life goes on beyond the physical realm."
~ Susan W.
Reconciliation of grief
"I don't think I grieved. I think I'm extremely happy that she died when she did and it wasn't a long drawn out thing. No. I was too happy. I'm still happy. She's waiting. People are waiting for me."
~ Sallie L.
At peace knowing that the deceased loved one is alive and well
"I thought we were just going to be dead in the ground, like that's all it was going to be, That's why he came back to me in the SDE, I'm convinced."
~ Carla K.
Lessening or loss of fear of death
"Being 36 years old and having two young kinds, normally, people like that are afraid to die. When you're at that age and you have kids and that kind of thing, I would be afraid to die. Well, after that happened to me, I was not afraid for one minute."
~ Lourdes F.
Renewed sense of purpose in life
"It has never left me, it altered my life, even not understanding what had taken place, it altered my life. I was never the same again. I'm telling you as if it happened five minutes ago."
~ Stephanie L.
